Thursday, April 29, 2010

Personal Blog

Wow...I had this idea for my blog that I wanted to write about. It's was how I am REALLY ready to be pregnant again right away but Heath isn't and that is confusing for me. He is always the one who is ready for a baby and I'm always the hesitant one! What is this??? Another idea was how I'm disappointed when I get emails in the mail from What to Expect When You're Expecting and how I growl at them (out loud) EVERY DAY! (because I don't know how to stop the heinous things from coming to me) Emails like, You are 12 weeks pregnant today!!! Isn't life glorious???? Really? I need them to quit already. And other such blog ideas. Then I realized, my oh my how my blog has changed. Most of the blogs I read aren't so very personal. They're helpful. And when I decided to do this blog I intended for it to be like those! More....ummmmm....well, just not so personal. But I'm a VERY open person. And I like it. I don't mind baring my soul to the world, so I do. Maybe it's a good thing that I only have four followers! I had wanted this blog to have helpful tidbits about being a good wife and mother. (What, like I'm some kind of expert? lHa Ha!) I had wanted it to be kind of funny and entertaining. You know, what you would expect out of a good magazine article. But it's not. It's all about me and my family. My feelings and hopes and dreams and disappointments and day to day activities poured out on the world wide web. Geez. Not what I had planned.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


The other day we were talking about something and the word humdinger was used. Levi asked, "What's a humdinger?" I said, "You can use the word humdinger when something is really good or awesome." Levi said, "Mommy, you're a humdinger." :)

Saturday, April 24, 2010

mommy moments

Today I had a really good mommy moment in the van. We got the kids Happy Meals. Our boys don't like french fries, I know, they are crazy right? So we get them apples....yummy. Anyway, Levi can't open his apples but Luke can. Normally I open all the apples and everything before I hand it to them but today I forgot. I heard Levi ask Luke, "Can you open my apples?" Luke said, "Sure." and he did it. It's not a big deal. It's normal. I expect nothing less. But for some reason today it just made me glad. I was happy that my children USUALLY want to help each other. I was happy that they are best friends. I felt so fortunate to have kind helpful children. I hope they continue grow in love and kindness toward one another. And it made me have a really good mommy moment....I love those. :)

She's still three!!!

Today has been a great day. We went to Disney on Ice for Londyns' birthday trip. It was fantastic of course, done with the typical Disney excellence. We all loved it. The kids have been "skating" around our tile all night. They say they are the Newcombs on Ice. It's too funny. And tonight Londyn and I made her birthday cake and some purple cupcakes. I can't believe she will be four tomorrow. She's so awesome and I love her so much. It has been a wonderful magical day and I'm so thankful for it. Happy Birthday Eve my little 3 year old!!!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

I feel so alone...

We are getting ready to go on vacation for two weeks so Heath has to work. AND he has to sleep so he can go to work! I would much rather him take off work for an awesome two week vacation than for me being ridiculous about losing this baby. But that means that I am alone with this mess an awful lot. I cry alone, I cramp alone, I moan and groan and complain alone. It's not pretty. If Heath were there he would rub my aching back. He would hug me when I cry. He would tell me how brave I am and how pretty I am and how proud of me he was. And I would roll my eyes at him and secretly love to hear every word. But, because I love vacation more than all of that I do it alone. And I don't tell him a thing about how I'm feeling because he would stay up all night with me or some nonsense. It's 3:05 now and I can't sleep because of the cramping. Nice. He would be here with me even though he has to get up at 5:00. So I snuck out of bed. I don't like this but it is going to have it's sweet rewards. But for now it will just be me and God. So maybe I'm not as alone as I feel. But I still wish I had Heath.

utter nonsense

My Grandmother accused me of being suicidal tonight. Seriously. I was to dumbfounded to even respond at first. You see I think I'm handling this all very well. I think I'm as perky as can possibly be considering the circumstances. I'm still basically cheerful and happy most of the time, a little down and out at others but definitely not SUICIDAL!!! Her reasoning is this: I'm not choosing a D and C so I'm choosing death. Really Nema??? She gave me a speech about how I had three children I still have to fight for. Oh my word. I informed her that I was not the least bit suicidal. She told me that a lot of people die when they "go the natural way". I told her that was true. But all the people who didn't die going the natural way died going the non-natural way because EVERYONE DIES! She said I shouldn't just lay down and die. Apparently she thinks that what the Dr. says about a D and C having more risks than not having one is a huge lie made up just to kill women. I won't even go into her other advice. It's too graphic for my blog. The things I put up with from this lady!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

These are the times that try womens souls....

We went to the midwife yesterday for a routine check-up. And my baby didn't have a heartbeat. It was sad. Heath took it hard. He cried his eyes out at the Dr. office. I acted like a champ, smiling, asking relevant questions, suppressing all my emotions into a little smidgen. My smidgen exploded last night. I knew it would some time. We told the children yesterday when we came home from the Dr's office. We hadn't planned on telling them so soon, but they kept following us around wondering why we were acting so weird. Londyn is still too young to really care. But the boys aren't. They were sad and had plenty of questions. Like Why?
But they took it very well and I told them that we would have a baby when God wants us to. But today I am feeling much better. I know that God is in control and that He has a plan, that apparently included this. And I'm also comforted by my three healthy children. And I'm also hoping that there is some great thing that will come out of this.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


Well, we just got back from a week in MO. It was the best trip we have ever taken up there. The kids were WONDERFUL in the car. No whining or complaining at all! (except by me) We had a blast. The kids loved seeing their cousins. We went to Incredible Pizza and we played Laser tag. WOW......I LOVE LASER TAG!!! We went to the zoo and a little boy beat up Levi. Poor Levi was just standing on a stand up see-saw and the little kid just walked up to him and hit him in the face twice and then in the stomach. By that time his mom was there and he started attacking her. I didn't see it because I was talking to Heath's mom. Heath saw the whole thing. He walked over and told the kid to quit and he did. The kid said, "I'm a spy." Heath was angry so he replied, "You're not a spy. You're a little jerk." The mom just explained to Heath that she couldn't control him. Hmmmm...... Levi was crying but Papa made it all better when he bought everyone snow cones. And we went to Cheddars (my all time favorite restaurant). We took a trip to Fantastic Caverns, a cave that you ride through. We went on a hike in the woods to the place where a spring comes out of the ground. It puts out 9,000 gallons of water per minute. Wow. Londyn fell in it. She didn't make a face or anything. She just got out of the icy cold water and said, "I think I need to pour the water out of my shoes. I got a little too close." She is such a water bug. Luke and I each got a tick. I felt mine before it bit me but Heath found Luke's and it was attached. YUCK!!!! BLECH!!!! EWWW!!!!! We went to a cookout on Easter with the family and had an Easter egg hunt for the whole afternoon. It was a FANTASTIC week!!! I'll post some pics soon! :)