Thursday, April 22, 2010

I feel so alone...

We are getting ready to go on vacation for two weeks so Heath has to work. AND he has to sleep so he can go to work! I would much rather him take off work for an awesome two week vacation than for me being ridiculous about losing this baby. But that means that I am alone with this mess an awful lot. I cry alone, I cramp alone, I moan and groan and complain alone. It's not pretty. If Heath were there he would rub my aching back. He would hug me when I cry. He would tell me how brave I am and how pretty I am and how proud of me he was. And I would roll my eyes at him and secretly love to hear every word. But, because I love vacation more than all of that I do it alone. And I don't tell him a thing about how I'm feeling because he would stay up all night with me or some nonsense. It's 3:05 now and I can't sleep because of the cramping. Nice. He would be here with me even though he has to get up at 5:00. So I snuck out of bed. I don't like this but it is going to have it's sweet rewards. But for now it will just be me and God. So maybe I'm not as alone as I feel. But I still wish I had Heath.


  1. I'm so sorry Heather. I'm crying with you.

  2. Oh Heather, I am so sorry for what you have to deal with. I will be praying for you.