job search

Well, Heath is still unemployed and it's January. We have looked into several churches, none of which we really seem to fit in with. To tell the truth I'm a little concerned. I don't think I make a very good pastors' wife. I'm not sure I make the grade. But I'm just not all that into it. I don't even know how to describe it. Most of the time so much more is expected of pastors wives and I don't mean having good character. I mean this fake (well, fake for me) front. Always being "on". I don't get it and I don't like to do it. It has been an issue at every church except Christian Life. They will always have a special place in my heart for that! It makes me nervous about moving forward, but seeing how we need a job and Heath is a preacher I suppose I better put on my big girl panties and do my best. (You see...good pastors' wives don't ever mention their panties....big girl or otherwise.) I have recently started reading a blog written for pastors wives hoping it would encourage me and give me the....ummm......passion for it that I obviously need. It doesn't. I think it's doing the opposite. I may stop reading it. Heath says I'm fine the way I am. He says I do a good job. But he likes me a lot and so I think that may have something to do with this. Anyway, we are continuing to look at job after job after job after job after job...........ugh.....and hopefully God will give us guidance and wisdom when we finally do.....something??